20081129, 18:06
*breathes in*
i know i shouldnt
i know i cant
i just dont wanna lie to myself anymore
but its just so fuckin hard
whenever i think of you
it takes everything i have to hold myself together, not to break down in front of everyone
i smile, i laugh, i act as if nothing has happened
i seem fine on the surface
but really.. its like im stuck in my worst nightmare
one i dont think i'll be able to wake up from
i knew smth was up
but i didnt wanna say anything
looking back
if i did
would it have saved me all this
fuck luh
i feel like walking in the path of a speeding car
then i dont have to think bout anything anymore
that'll be kinda nice